ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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