# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
