The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
