i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize