new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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