if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
