Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
