No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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