yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
