I wish I could punch you in the face.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
