...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
