I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
