my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
now i know why i became what i already was.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
