The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize