im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
