my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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