I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
