u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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