She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
