the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
