Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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