Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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