Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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