all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Dude. Iām playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
