I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
