If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
