someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
