My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
