and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
