so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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