if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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