My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
