Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize