My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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