But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
