MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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