dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
