Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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