i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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