hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
