so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
