Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
