shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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