Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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