I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
