in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
