nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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