I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
