I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I can't trust your balls anymore.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize