And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
