Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
this will be a night to untag.
Hippo gnu deer
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
