Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
