just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
should my penis look like a turkey
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
