You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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