This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Acid is not a monday night drug
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
How does one acquire holy water?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
