i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
being pregnant is like rehab
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
