Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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