You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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