If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
