Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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