im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
