If that was your dad, he is hot
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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