It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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