I feel great
I just peed on a car
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize