put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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