Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize