is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
