you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
